I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
