I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
