Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
