if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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