Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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