im about as happy as oj after his trial
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
