tell your sister to shave her snatch
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
