Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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