You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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