you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
