cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
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There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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