too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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