I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
