I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
