i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
