i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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