I love black thongs
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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