I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
