I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
