So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
