Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
