i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
