We got so high we made milksteak
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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