But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
