God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
