Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
did you just send me my own nude
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Randomize
