he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
