My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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