doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
