I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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