Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
