The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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