how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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