I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
