I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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