i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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