this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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