it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
