So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
my liver is dry heaving
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
