do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
