The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
