dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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