i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
