I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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