I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
