If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
