It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
