frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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