You really coming over, don't trick.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
