It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
you never un-have a 4some
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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