singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
