Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
