Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
