Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Im part way to drunk.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
