i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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