I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
