I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
