hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
