Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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