I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
